The tomb of Arnaud de Gabaston

Finding myself in Winchester last week, I headed to the Cathedral.   I knew that Piers' father, Arnaud de Gabaston, was buried there, and thanks to Brad Verity, I knew what it looked like.  Unfortunately, there is no plaque or information post next to the tomb - nothing to identify it as Arnaud.  I asked a guide there about the tomb, and he seemed very surprised that I knew about it, as he explained to me later that no-one 'ever asks about it'.  Amazingly, it was right behind me as I asked!  The guide told me it had been moved from it's original place but that it was 'intact'.  A lot of the tombs had been opened during the Reformation and by those pesky Victorians, who have an awful lot to answer for!  Nearly all the other tombs with effigies were of former bishops of Winchester and other clergy, so it was quite a surprise to see Arnaud's tomb.  It may be that other tombs of knights etc had been removed - I don't know enough about the history of the Cathedral.  Here are some of my photos.

The latter picture if a close-up of the shield Arnaud is holding.   For more on Arnaud de Gabaston and Piers' family, Kathryn has just posted her latest research on her blog. 

http://edwardthesecond.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/piers-gavestons-family-and-age.html

Time to give Flo the big picture......

Hi there Flo, (I don't do 'auntie letters'),

OK, first up, I'm not writing to ask you for advice - I never ask anyone for advice, but willingly give my advice to others, which is why I'm writing to you.   I don't feel those who have written to you recently are telling you the whole truth, and while I appreciate your answers, I feel you need to be, well, more honest - blunt, as it were.  Just so you know, I am 'P', 'Perrot', 'Peter' - though I won't hide behind a false name - I'm Piers. 

OK, first of all, the 'child bride' is nothing more than a spoilt brat - totally indulged by her father.  She arrogantly expects every man to fall in love with her.  At the moment she is hanging around her 'arranged' husband like a puppy dog, which is so irritating.  Everyone knows it's an 'arranged' marriage - why pretend otherwise?  She constantly demands he tell her how beautiful she is - but let me tell you, it's hard for him when she has a serious break-out of teenage acne, and worse, squeezes her spots in front of him - bleuch!  As for considering wearing this bra garment - she has nothing to put in it!  She's only 12, which I think explains her naivety.  You are not naive, and you know perfectly well that 'E Rex' and I don't have 'sleepovers'.  We are in fact 'together' - not in 'brotherhood', as Ed likes to kid himself and others, but in the fullest sense - lovers - there, said it.  I've had to put up with all this marriage business, then the elevation of that little madam taking my place at Ed's side.  It hasn't been easy for me, you know.  But have I written a whinging letter asking for advice?  Of course not, I've just been helping Ed exactly as before - even minding the 'family silver', as it were and organising ceremonies and feasts for them. 

I'm afraid Ed lacks confidence, which I can give him by the bucketful!  Why be worried about digging ditches and getting drunk with sailors?  People do far worse things than that!  And digging ditches and rowing have given him a marvellous physique!  You should see him, stripped to the waist, glistening with perspiration in the midday sun!  A splendid sight!  And if he wants to offer me a few perks to make up for having to give him time with that spoilt brat, who am I to refuse?  It would be churlish of me to refuse. 

Now for that awful Tom!  You are so right about him being jealous - of Ed, me, and, erm, me!  I should point out that I am known for my grace and good-manners, whereas he is most ill-mannered - a complete churl, in fact.  No social graces, swaggers around and tries to boss poor Ed around.  It quite upsets Ed at times, and I do my best to defuse the situation and make light of Tom's arrogance - I do a very good impression of him, which makes Ed laugh so much!

So there you have the full story Flo - just tell Isa Ed is NEVER going to be in love with her but will give her a brilliant lifestyle, tell Ed to assert himself and be true to himself, and tell Tom to curb his jealousy - Ed's in charge no matter what he thinks.  And Flo, I've enclosed my portrait, so you can see that yes, I am extremely handsome - pin it above your bed and dream - that's all I can promise you as my heart belongs to Ed.  And I really do think you should get out and live life instead of listening to the likes of Isa and Tom droning on about their so-called problems.

  Blowing you a big kiss,  Piers

Now who is writing to Auntie Flo?

Dear Auntie Flo,

Oh dear – where to start?  Well, I’ll call myself Tom, and I am part of a great, powerful, family, of which I’m immensely proud.  Unfortunately, I’m not the head of the family, although there are many who think I should be.  My cousin is the head – let’s call him ‘Ed’.  I admit he looks like the head of a great family – he’s very striking, muscular and has presence, but he doesn’t always act like the head.   He enjoys rather vulgar pursuits such as swimming and rowing – and much worse that I daren’t tell you.  Worst of all, he seems, erm, devoted to his ‘best friend’ who I’ll call ‘Peter’.  This friend is just so unsuitable – for a start, he’s not even English, he comes from Gascony, of all places!  And I’m sure you know what those Gascons are like!   He’s not even well-born!  I admit he was thought as a suitable companion for my cousin in his teens – I will say he is graceful and well-mannered.   The family were a little bit worried about how ‘friendly’ my cousin and this Gascon were, and we did our best to separate them for their own good.  But now my cousin is in charge, he and his friend are behaving outrageously!   This Peter has been promoted beyond his wildest dreams, given land and jewels.  Of course, it’s turned his head, and he now is just such a show-off, mocking me for my lack of manners amongst other things – and all the while my cousin just laughs.  He is so arrogant!  Whenever we discuss the family business, this Peter takes centre stage, and Ed listens to only him.  This is just so wrong!  I mean, I am a fine leader of men myself – many think me more suited to my cousin’s job, and I’m much more of a role model than this Gascon upstart.  My cousin has had to marry for the family’s sake – and his wife is a lovely, beautiful, powerful girl – I mean, she is only 12, but she’s so beautiful!  We hoped this would ‘cure’ Ed – but no, he’s more devoted to his friend than ever!  They even have sleepovers!  Please tell me how to rid my cousin of this awful man and realise how marvellous I am. 

Yours  majestically, Tom, Lancaster

Dear Tom,

What is going on here?  I don’t think your cousin’s friend is the problem – who, to be fair, sounds a lot of fun.  You don’t.  It seems to be you are a very jealous person – jealous of your cousin’s looks, hobbies, and his best friend.   You admit this friend has many good attributes.  You accuse him of being arrogant – and yet you talk about how suited you are for the top job and what a marvellous role model you are for your cousin.  At least this Peter has a sense of humour, which your cousin must find a pleasant change as you sound so pompous and snobbish.  I find it disturbing that you would rather your twenty something cousin should be spending all his time with a 12 year old girl than this fun, pleasure-seeking best friend.  You need to get over your jealousy, leave your cousin to run the business and enjoy his friendship with Peter.   Get your own life!

Sincerely, Auntie Flo (and can you send me a portrait of this Peter?  I want to see if he has the looks to match the personality!)

'E Rex' seeks advice.....

Dear Auntie Flo,

Oh dear, where do I start?  I would describe myself as the head of a big, family business - yes, that's it.  I'll call myself E Rex.  I have been a bit of a disappointment to my family in the past - I'm afraid I haven't always behaved like the son of the head of the family firm.  Now that I am the head, I was hoping things would improve.  But I have heard people whispering about me, and complaining that I spend too much time on my hobbies, such a ditch-digging and swimming - and my chief hobby in particular - my best friend 'P'.  I call him that because we spend all our time together.  Our friendship is a bit difficult to explain - we call it a sort of brotherhood, really, and this involves doing most things together - even sleepovers!  He's not into ditch-digging best, but gives me plenty encouragement when I do. He always watches me toiling away in the sunshine.  It's always great fun, and of course, as my best friend, he's been, er,  promoted.  Obviously, there are many who are jealous of him, and who can blame them?  He's just so wonderful - handsome, witty and confident.  As head of the family, I realise it's my duty to marry for  it's sake - and have done so.  This is my real problem - my bride is 12 years-old, and despite her youth, is very keen to be my wife.  I'm in my 20s - she's far too young to interest me.  I'd rather wait until she was, oh, 20!  But she is being very demanding and has even complained that I allowed my best friend to keep her jewels safe - ok, he did wear some to an important banquet - and very handsome he looked as well - but who better to look after things for me?  She's now hinting that she wants to come to one of our sleepovers, and has even asked her uncles to 'have a word' about my husbandly duties.  What can I do? 

yours hopefully, E Rex

Dear E Rex,

hmm, I think there are a number of issues here that need addressing.   First, who cares what your father thought of you?  You're in charge now, right?  As for your bride - yes, a 12 year-old is too young for you to spend time with.  Can't you make sure she has extra lessons, plenty of exercise and is in bed by 7pm, where either you or your friend could read her a goodnight story?  Maybe get her a pet dog as well?  I'm sure she'll be much happier.

What concerns me is your 'friendship' with 'P'.  You have real blood brothers - why do you want a 'brotherhood' pact with someone else?   And please - you are too old for sleepovers.  You don't fool me - even if you can fool a 12 year-old girl.  You are of course in love with 'P', and providing you are discreet, I don't see why you shouldn't enjoy your 'sleepovers' and 'brotherhood':)  You should be cautious, and perhaps not give your friend so many promotions and favours, no matter how handsome he is.  It may also be worth having a word with your child bride's uncles, and ask them to put her in the picture.  Enjoy your ditch-digging and your friend!

good luck, Auntie Flo

Agony Aunt 13th century style

For some reason, the recent discovery of some medieval underwear has inspired me to write a spoof  agony aunt post from a certain Isabella.........

Dear Auntie Flo,

Please can you help me?  I am 12 years old, and apparently the most beautiful woman in Europe, if not the world.  That's what my family and father's courtiers tell me.  Any man who sees me will fall madly in love with me.   I am just so beautiful!  I may be only 12, but could pass for at least 14.  So why am I so unhappy?  Well, I have just got married to a man chosen by my father.  He is very handsome, and considerably older than me - but as I am so beautiful, this shouldn't be a problem.  However, my husband has been rather reluctant to spend any time with me.  He has unusual hobbies such as thatching roofs and digging ditches.   Bizarre, isn't it?  Although I know nothing about these hobbies, I'm willing to put up with them.  What I cannot put up with is the amount of time he spends with his best friend - a certain Gascon who I will call 'Perrot'.  My husband spends most of his time with his best friend - they are always together and even have sleep-overs, to which I am never invited.  My husband even allowed him to try on our wedding jewellery - even if I confess it did look much better on him.  He is very handsome.  I've asked my friends their advice.  Some have suggested taking up my husband's hobbies - but I've no idea how to dig a ditch, and when one has servants, why would you even want to?  Another friend suggests I have a sleep-over in my bedroom and invite them both.  Yet another has told me about a new invention called a bra with matching knickers, and that my husband may find me irresistible in them.  What do you think?

Isa, aged 12.


Dear Isa,

I have a sneaking suspicion I may know who you are on about, so here is my advice.  First, no matter how beautiful you are, I'm afraid there are some men who just won't fancy you - simple as that.  I might add you sound very conceited about your looks, and this can be unattractive to many - including your husband.  You are also only 12 years old - what on earth can you possibly have in common with your husband?  You say he likes thatching and digging ditches - he sounds an outdoor type and I'm sure he looks very handsome, stripped to the waist and gleaming with sweat.  So what are your interests?  Playing with dolls?  riding your pony?  Hardly likely to entice your husband away from a ditch, eh?  As for your husband's friend - you say he is very handsome and looks better in your jewellery than you - are you sure you are not a little in love with him yourself, and that's why you resent your husband spending time with him?   I must say you sound very immature to want to have a sleep-over with your husband and his friend, and I feel it my duty to have to break the news to you that grown men do not have sleep-overs, and that I strongly suspect this friend offers your husband something you cannot.  Perhaps you should ask an older male relative to have a little chat to you about this.  Oh, and as for the bra and knickers - after the chat with your male relative, you will see that they are useless, and I'd pack them away and forget about them.   Your husband will want children at some point, and when you grow up, you may find you enjoy spending such little time with your husband and enjoy splurging on bling and clothes for yourself, and being waited on like a Queen, and caring for your children.

best wishes, Auntie Flo

Medieval Underwear?

Nothing to do with Piers, but this story did catch my attention in the media this week.  A set of underwear, consisting of a bra and knickers, has been found in a castle in Austria.  Bras were thought to have only been invented about 100 years, but it seems history may have to be re-written.  Here's a picture of the very modern-looking bra. 

700th anniversary

Today, June 19^th marks 2012 marks the 700^th anniversary of Piers Gaveston’s death.    To mark the anniversary this year, I thought I’d take a look at the inscription on the Gaveston Cross memorial.   My first ever post on this blog was about my search for this monument.  It is a Grade II listed monument, hidden away, and no-one seems to know who the monument actually belongs to.  The monument is made of sandstone and is over 6 metres tall.  It was put up by a local squire called Bertie Greatheed who lived nearby at Guys Cliffe.  I’ve never found out what inspired him to put this monument in place.  If he was an admirer of Piers,  why does it have such an awful inscription on it?  The inscription was written by a local curate and friend, Dr Samuel Parr.  It reads –

In the Hollow of this Rock,
Was beheaded,
On the 1^st Day of July, 1312,
By Barons lawless as himself,
PIERS GAVESTON, Earl of Cornwall;
The Minion of a hateful King:
In Life and Death,
A memorable Instance of Misrule.

The date is incorrect and it hardly honours Piers, Edward II or those who set out to kill him, so maybe it was purely the local history of the place, that inspired him.   So for the 700^th anniversary, I shall write what I would like to see inscribed.

In the Hollow of this Rock

Was unjustly executed

By over-mighty barons

On June 19^th 1312

Piers Gaveston, Earl of Cornwall

Devoted and loyal friend of King Edward II

RIP Piers Gaveston.  I shall raise a glass of wine and toast as usual.