Tall Tales from Warwick Castle

I've just returned from a long holiday in the Cotswolds, visiting plenty of history places.   Finding myself in Warwick once again, I couldn't resist visiting the castle yet again.  It's one of the finest castles in Britain.  Plus of course, it's where Piers Gaveston was kept prisoner by Guy of Warwick and given a joke of a trial before being taken for 'execution' to Blacklow Hill.  I've visited Warwick a number of times, but there's never really been any mention of Piers, despite the great hall in which he was tried still standing, and the dungeon in which he may have been kept.  This year, the castle has introduced mini history talks, and I attended the tour/talk on 'prisoners and executions' in the hope Piers may get a mention.   And he did - but I wish he hadn't!

The talk started in the Great Hall, and the guide had quite a crowd.  What followed was basically history at it's worst!  We were introduced to Piers as 'Edward II's boyfriend' and how their bad behaviour upset the nobles and Edward's wife Isabella.  Piers was captured by Guy and taken to Warwick, where in the very hall in which we stood, he was forbidden to speak while all the nobles discussed the horrible ways in which they wanted to kill Piers for 3 days, and he had to sit and listen to all this.  Finally, after 3 days, he was stripped naked and marched in a great procession to the nearest hill by Guy and his followers to be executed.  Guy wanted him to really suffer so told the headsman to find the bluntest sword, and whilst Piers was held by 2 soldiers, another took 6 attempts to cut off his head to the cheers of Guy and his followers.  Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the guide continues that Edward soon found other 'boyfriends' and Isabella decided she'd had enough and would make her son king instead.  So, one day, when Edward was bending over the fire, poking it with a poker, she had the great idea to........well, you can guess the rest!   The guide assured everyone it was true, and I could hear people saying 'oh my God, that really happened'  and plenty of sniggering etc.  I could take no more, left the tour, and walked over to 2 other guides, standing in the corner.  I asked them who had written this 'stuff', and they told me it wasn't the guide himself, but a local historian.  Really?!   I told them it as one of the worst history talks I'd ever heard, littered with inaccuracies passed off as facts, and that the story of Edward II and Piers was fascinating enough without 'embroidering' the story.  They thanked me for my feedback and said they'd report it back to the powers that be.  Somehow, I doubt that very much.

I know castles need to attract a variety of audiences, and Warwick usually does it's best.  The Kingmaker exhibition is excellent, and for younger visitors there is knight school, and everyone seems to enjoy the jousting and birds of prey activities.  The history tales seem like a great idea, and the basic facts about Piers being imprisoned there, given no trial and then executed on Blacklow Hill are correct - but why tell blatant falsehoods about the execution itself, and then add all the nonsense about Edward II and the red hot poker!  Guy of Warwick came across as very heroic, when in fact he hid in his castle and let Thomas of Lancaster take responsibility for what happened to Piers - he wouldn't even allow the 'execution' to take place on his land! Take a tip from the Yeoman Warders at the Tower - they tell a really good story, and yes, at times exaggerate, but the basic facts of their stories are correct.