Saturday, 13 September 2008

The World of Celebrity – 14th century style.

Overwhelmed with work this week, I can’t write what I wanted to. So I’ve decided to ‘lighten up’ a little. After a discussion with Alianore and Lady Despencer at Alianore’s excellent Edward II forum about 21st century celebrity, I thought I’d have go at some articles that might have appeared in the glossies in the 14th century had they existed. So, move over Colleen Rooney, Jade Goody and Jordan and Peter.

1. Exclusive! Why Purple is THE colour for the perfect coronation outfit – exclusive interview with Piers Gaveston.

2. Exclusive photo shoot at the Earl of Cornwall’s fabulous new home - Tintagel Castle. Plus, Piers gives you tips on how to decorate your castle with style.

3. ‘Why Gaveston and I will never be friends’ – exclusive interview on the feud between the Earl of Cornwall and Duke of Lancaster.

4. ‘Kiss and tell’ exclusive – country peasant girl reveals ‘How I made an man out of Ed and had his lovechild’.

5. Isabella of France models her range of bridal clothes, and tells how why she’s happy to set up home in Westminster.

6. Ed’s top ten garden tips – exclusive photos of his gardens at Langley. We learn the secrets of his enormous turnips!

7. Isabella tells all! ‘There are three of us in this marriage’.

8. You’re invited to the social event of the year, with ‘Hark!’ magazine – we preview the Earl of Cornwall’s plans for a fabulous tournament at Wallingford.

9. Piers’ interview, on why diamonds are an Earl’s best friend, and rubies, and emeralds etc.

10. King Edward presents his new favourite at court – meet Hugh Despencer! ‘He may not have Piers’ wit, but he looks damned hot in his hose!’

3 comments:

Alianore said...

LOL, those are brilliant, Anerje! I love 4, 6 and 10 especially! And number 7 - I can just imagine Isa in loads of eyeliner, emoting for all she's worth. ;)

Here's a couple more I thought of:

'We wuz robbed!' The grumbling barons reveal that the only reason Piers Gaveston knocked them all off their horses at the recent Wallingford tournament was by blatant cheating.

'All the fondling was just disgusting! And the food - yuck!' An exclusive interview with the counts of Valois and Evreux reveals the secrets of Ed's coronation.

Anerje said...

Thanks Alianore - and for your 'extras'. I can imagine the mud-spattered barons looking very mournful in a glossy group pic:) Ths could run and run......

Lady D. said...

No 10 - Too darn right!!!! And he looks even hotter out of it lol!!