Sunday, 20 December 2009

Merry Christmas!

As is traditional this time of year, there are a range of novelty books with a history focus available. I've been treated to 'Robin the Hoodie - An ASBO history of Britain'. There's a section on Edward II, which raised a smile from me. It's called 'Edward II: A Royal Eye for the Straight Knight'.

Edward is described thus - 'This strange youth didn't seem at all warlike like his father, and as for booze, it as rumoured the only thing he would touch was gin. His favourite companion was a flamboyant young knight named Pirs Gaveston; togeher, the pair would spend their time giggling, whispering and criticizing the facial hair of the king's favourte knights.' Ed and Piers would also skip jousting lessons 'to hang around in the woods reading French poetry'.

Of course, Edward Ist fails to change his son's ways, and when crowned king, Ed decids to change things at court - the barons are summoned to the Tower, which has had a makeover. The Earl of Arundel is seized by Piers and some other knights, dragged through the streets of London to a merchant's house, where he is tied to a chair, and a blade held close to his throat - and is then shaved! Edward has orered a 'Style Emergency!' Arundel has his eyebrows plucked, his hair cut and given a bath, with new clothes and some chic Italian boots:) The other barons are astonished when Arundel appears in front of them after his makeover, with a spring in his step.

'"well?" said Edward.

"Well...' replied the earl slowly, "Mrs Arundel was impressed."

"How impressed?" said Edward.

"Like four times impressed", the earl roared.'

The chamber then descends into uproar. The barons love Ed's makeovers, and sign up for them. Their castles and themselves are madeover, and 'Edward II was celebrated far and wide as the leding light of a new golden age. It could have lasted forever were it not for a revolutionary new beauty treatment which arrived from France in 1327. Witht he benefit of hindsight, red-hot poker colonic irrigation was obviously a step too far.'

Other stories to receive the treatment are 'The peasants Revolt and the Birth of Social Networking', 'Henry VIII, Lover, Stoner, Entrepreneur' and 'Walter Raleigh, social climber'.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Inspired by the slogan generator featured on Alianore's site

I just couldn't resist -

1. Piers Gaveston Really satisfies – guaranteed by Ed?

2. Thank Piers Gaveston it’s Friday – why not every day?

3. Marvin the Mountie always gets his Piers Gaveston – Not if Ed gets him first!

4. Your Piers Gaveston, Right Away – if only!

5. I’m not gonna pay a lot for this Piers Gaveston – oh yes you are, he has expensive tastes!

6. Just for the taste of Piers Gaveston – MMM!

7. Get The Piers Gaveston Habit – a habit Ed couldn’t break!

8. Gotta Lotta Piers Gaveston – just ask the nobility!

9. Better Living Through Piers Gaveston – Ed certainly thought so!

10. It Makes Your Piers Gaveston Smack! – it will if you try to banish him!

11. Piers Gaveston Saves Your Soul! – one of Ed’s arguments against banishment?

12. Piers Gaveston keeps going and going! – so says Ed?

13. Makes You Feel Piers Gaveston Again! – erm, so says Ed!

14. Cleans a big, big Piers Gaveston for less than half a crown! – half a crown? You’ll be lucky!

15. Savour the flavour of Piers Gaveston – recommendation by Ed.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Alianore and Lady Despencer's Brilliant new website

I'm so sorry to be so late mentioing the new website from 2 of my favourite bloggers Alianore and Lady Despencer. It's called 'Everything Edward' and here's the link -

There is so much information on the life and times of Edward II, with links to books, resources etc, all meticulously researched. There's also some fun stuff on there. I particularly like the 'mythbusters' section. The articles on Piers are real gems as well.