Saturday, 20 December 2014
Christmas with Piers Gaveston
Somewhere I England, nearly Christmas, 1308, the new Earl Of Cornwall is preparing his Christmas list.
Ah, Christmas as an Earl is sure to be a tricky one. I mean, what does one give the other barons for Christmas? I doubt they will ever give me a present, but seeing their faces as I sit beside my dear Edward as they bend their knees to us, well, it’s unbeatable:)
Hmmmm, let me think. The Earl of Lincoln – Burstbelly – now what would he like, apart from all the food he could gorge in one sitting? Got it – a diet book! That will be soooo good for his health. Now for Guy of Warwick – the Black Hound – easy really. A nice new bone to chew on, and perhaps a ball for his to chase after. Edward’s cousin, Thomas of Lancaster – the Churl – well, Edward and I know what he’d like – the throne. That’s out of the question of course. I think a book on etiquette and a ‘Tales of King Arthur’ book would be ideal. And for our dear, faithful friend Roger Mortimer – a friendship bracelet.
Edward is going to be very difficult to get a present for. I mean, he has everything he wants – me. So he tells me. I’m thinking along the line of personalised rowing oars. I know how much he loves rowing, and it does help to build up those bulging biceps. Plus a crate of ale from The Thatchers pub. I do hope he doesn’t get me anything too extravagant – I mean, the Earldom and the fabulous castle that goes with it is more than enough – although a few diamonds are always welcome – after all, diamonds are an Earl’s best friend.
I suppose I ought to get something for the child bride, Isabella. Some nice colouring in manuscripts, perhaps? And a book. Yes, I’ve heard of a new title just out – ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. It’ll be a big help to her – especially as she’s heading for her teenage years – which reminds me – some spot lotion would also be ideal.
I'm so looking forward to Christmas this year! Merry Christmas to one and all!